Always Go Back to the Bus Stop. Always.

Last week I attended a workshop about the effects of social media on our parenting styles and how competitive parenting is a real problem.

I agreed with a lot of the points the speaker made until we started discussing “The Pinterest Mom”. I was suddenly feeling guilty for my 2500 pins. I use Pinterest all the time but not because I want to portray to the world that I have my shit together…because I don’t. I use Pinterest as a tool to connect with my children.

I am fully aware that my kids will not remember the elaborate birthday parties or carefully planned scavenger hunts we had, but I will. They will not remember the cute seasonal crafts or the hours Bumble spent hiding at Christmas time, but I absolutely will.

I hope that when my teenagers look at their baby pictures, they will smile and know that we tried. Days when they hate us and don’t understand the rules we have for our home, I hope they know that our intentions were pure and our love for them has never faltered. Having happy memories of a few Pinterest success, but mostly fails, will be nostalgic and memories we can laugh about. I will remember those days and be grateful that we made it through the tough times.

Parenting is hard. So many days I want to quit this thankless gig but I can’t. It is my responsibility to always find a reason to persevere and sometimes, making ridiculous crafts we saw on Pinterest will help to avoid a meltdown. The crayons may not melt properly or the glue didn’t hold, but I spent an hour away from all my daily distractions and played with my children. We shared quality time together probably teaching them that it is okay to fail. It is okay not to be good at everything. It is fun to be resourceful and easy to find inspiration from others that we can bring into our home. These are the moments that matter. Being present and making an effort will assure them that our wells will never run dry and our arms are always open…reaching for more.

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My good friend once said to me “some days you walk your kids to the bus stop and think about how great it would be to not pick them up” and it’s true.  There are days when we want to kick those little monsters out on the curb and never look back, but we have to turn around.  We can’t throw in the towel because others are judging us. We can’t walk away because life is hard. It doesn’t matter what our clothes look like, how messy our hair is, or what kind of car we drive.  What matters is that despite every obstacle, we keep going back.  Every single time, go back to the bus stop and bring your kids home.

TTTS – Early Detection Can Save Lives

For the past 10 years, May 28th has been celebrated as National Multiple Births Awareness Day.  Each year, Multiple Births Canada sets a specific theme to help bring attention to the struggles and success of families with multiples.

In 2013, when our twins were born, the theme was “You’re not alone – Canada’s multiple-birth community is here to support you”.  I had no idea how important MBC would be to our family in the years to come, but getting those first congratulatory emails and messages of support from the community really helped this anxious momma.

This year, MBC has chosen Twin to Twin Transfusion – Early Detection Can Save Lives as their theme.

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TTTS occurs only in identical twins who share a placenta. The blood vessels in the placenta are connected to both twins and for unknown reasons, the blood levels become unbalanced.  The smaller twin (donor) usually does not get enough blood while the larger twin (recipient) is overloaded with too much blood.

As time goes on, and without medical intervention, the larger twin will begin to increase its amniotic fluid while the smaller twin loses most, if not all, of theirs. Eventually, the donor’s bladder will stop working and blood flow will decrease. The donor will experience heart failure and sadly, pass away.

There is no rhyme or reason for TTTS and it can be incredibly difficult to grieve if the doctors don’t catch the abnormalities in time. Our twins are di-di fraternal, meaning two distinct eggs, two placentas and two sacs. They didn’t share a single thing, and yet TTTS was always in the back of my mind every time I went for an ultrasound. Don’t even get me started on the vanishing twin syndrome! Fear and the unknown can really wreak havoc on a pregnant mother’s mind.

If you or someone you know is expecting twins, please encourage them to ask questions and push for answers. So many dangers can be avoided with proper monitoring and clear communication with your health professional.

For more information, check our these sites:

National Multiple Births Awareness Day – Facebook Page

TTTS Foundation

Making Medical History at Mount Sinai