The Glamorous Life of Mom

Man oh man, what a week.

My poor little dude has been sick constantly since February. Coughs, ear infections and fevers galore.  But this week takes the cake.

His coughs have been pretty congested and a few times Alain asked if maybe we should take him into the doctor…just in case he has pneumonia like Brooklynn did but the next morning, he would wake up and be fine, so we kept putting it off. On Sunday, Linc woke up with a pretty crusty eye and his inner lid was deep red in color.  Okay, time to go see the doctor wee man.

Sunday night doesn’t leave you many options for a walk in, but I found one open til 8pm and away we went. As usual, there were about six people in front of us which meant at least a forty minute wait. Meh, whatever. Par for the course when you have free health care.  I gave the receptionist his card, she swiped it, and we sat down.  A little while later, she asked to see the card again and off she went back into her office.  After thirty minutes of waiting and two coughing fits that had people squirming and looking for further seating, the receptionist came out and said Lincoln’s health card had expired.  Really? But he’s only two? Aren’t they good for like five years?  I was clearly oblivious when she said “do you have the expiry card you got in the mail?”  Listen lady….if I had a notice in the mail that said it was expired, would I be here waiting a half hour for you to tell me it’s expired? You think I can remember to bring the reminder but not think to go and renew the card?   So no, I don’t have any paperwork.  “Then I guess you will have to come back with a new card later”.  My poor guy, looking half dead and sounding like a 65-year-old smoker was being turned away because his health card was expired for two months. Seriously!

I brought him home and put him to bed.  I spent the next two hours swearing and searching for home remedies. My mom suggested the polysporin eye drops for pink eye. Sounded good to me! After trying four different drug stores, I was about to give up. Everyone was sold out and the manufacturer had discontinued the line.  Thankfully, the pharmacist was kind enough to let me in on a little secret…the eye drops marketed for stys is the exact same formula as the one for pink eye, it just comes in a blue box. Thanks keeper-of-the-drugs, you saved my night!   I also caved and bought some homeopathic children’s cough medicine.  If nothing else, at least Linc will think he got real medicine and might calm down a bit. It was worth a try.

By Tuesday, we were doing good. Eyes had cleared up and the cough was minimal.  Off to daycare wee germites, mommy has some health cards to renew.  I was at the office by 8:30am but it didn’t open until 9am.  I found primo parking right in front and hung out in the car grooving with Mr. Sheeran.  I started to notice people slowly walking up the sidewalk towards the door, eagerly waiting for it to open.  Really people?  They aren’t gonna open the door any earlier if you give them the stink eye. Go have a power nap and quit being so creepy.  The closer it got to 9am, the more people began crowding around. Apparently I’ve been watching too much Walking Dead because all I saw was zombies narrowing in on their victim…drool and all.  Was there a sale on health cards I didn’t know about it?  Gee wiz.  One guy even tried to lean up against the hood of my car. Yup, still invisible.  Good thing my horn works well! Ps, sorry lady with the walker…I really didn’t mean to make you wet your depends.

I left the service office by 9:30am and had the dogs out for a nice walk before finally sitting down with a coffee and the next episode of Walking Dead. I am determined to get caught up by the weekend! The opening credits hadn’t even started when my phone rang and those dreaded words flashed on the screen Kid’s daycare.  Ugh…what now!

Of course it was about Lincoln.The world is against this poor guy!  The teacher had been holding his hand and walking him over for a diaper change when he tripped and toppled over another boy.  In her effort to help save him, she held onto his hand while he fell, and inadvertently, pulled his elbow.  Linc made it through the diaper change, but on his way over to the lunch table, began screaming.  He held his arm at a 90 degree angle and kept repeating “arm, ouch”  When I arrived to check him out, he started bawling the moment he saw me.  Now, Lincoln is a kid who needs to be wrapped in bubble paper 24/7, so he is usually pretty tough, but by the look of his poor face and how tightly he was holding his arm, we both knew it was something more serious.  I tried my best to get him into the car seat gently, but no luck.  He was screaming and could have filled a bathtub with all those crocodile tears. My first thought was to go to his pediatric doctor, but I knew the walk in right near our house had an x-ray lab in the same building…2 for 1 deal, so away we went.

Linc did fine in the waiting room.  He slept on me for the first hour, and sat quietly on my lap counting the animals on the wall for the second hour. When we finally made it in to see the doctor, he knew exactly what happened.  Linc’s elbow was dislocated. It is super common in such young kids because of their little rubber bones.  The doctor looked me in the eye and said “bear with me a moment” then reached down and quickly yanked Linc’s arm and twisted the elbow to pop it back into place. I would have bet a million bucks that Linc was about to scream in the doctor’s face. His eyes popped out of his head and his mouth opened so wide, and yet just a little “ugh” came out. That was it. Just a little grunt and he was over it.

The doc sent me over to the x-ray to make sure everything was back to normal, and what do you know…Linc was crawling up on the x-ray table, putting stickers on everything and laughing.  It was as if nothing ever happened. Unbelievable.  I was grateful, but man, I am convinced he was faking it the whole time.  There was no way he was feeling 100% in just minutes. Little phony.

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Yesterday we good.  He ate, played in the pool, and rode his bike no problem. Things were back to normal!  Until they weren’t.  After dinner he got a fever but was exhausted so I gave him some tylenol and put him to bed. Just as we sat down, both kids started screaming in sync.  “I call Brooklynn, you take Linc” Al said as he started to laugh. Good call buddy. I got to Lincoln just in time to see him puke all over himself.  Awesome.  He was covered in sweat, bawling and had puked everywhere.  All Brooke wanted? Was a hug and to be tucked in…by MOM! So she sat in the living room with dad,crying while I cleaned up Linc’s mess, then went back to bed for the night.

It is now 5:07pm on Thursday and both kids have lasted the whole day in daycare.  I’m heading out for dinner and movie with Dave, so I’m calling today a win.  Good luck tonight Al…mommy is off duty!

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